Looking for a therapist

I’ve been trying an online therapy app for the past few months and I cancelled it last night. I’ve been going to therapy on and off for the past 16 years or so, along with taking medications for depression and anxiety. I’m still looking for someone to give me tools that I can take and use on my own out of therapy, rather than just using it as a bitch session. Positive thought mantras can only take me so far, and that’s the most useful thing any therapist has ever told me to do. 

The app somehow moved too slow and yet too fast. I was paying for a plan where the therapist (a liscences therapist in my state) would respond once a day, so to use the service to the fullest I should write every day too. But I don’t feel like being insightful and deep and working on myself everyday. 

Some days I just wanted to complain about coworkers and life, but she then would ask questions about how I felt about it and I didn’t want to keep talking about the same meaningless encounter day after day. I had moved on. Maybe not in the healthiest way, and maybe not in a way that would prevent me from feeling it again in the future, but 48 hours later when she’s asking another follow up I no longer had anything to say about the subject. 

Other days I’d try to go back to something she said the week before and she wouldn’t remember or bother to scroll to see what she had said. With a ‘if it’s important it will come up again’ she dismissed one such inquiry. I yelled at my phone “I think it’s important now, that’s why I asked!”

I thought I would appreciate being able to do therapy on my schedule, but maybe I need the structure of a time and place to work through my emotions and to not be doing it little by little throughout every day. 

Anybody know a good therapist who works outside of 8-5?

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